


Regret

by Lulu_bae



Category: Naruto
Genre: Anbu Hatake Kakashi, Angst, Child Murder, Heavy Angst, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Murder, Other, POV Third Person, Sad Ending, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-12
Updated: 2020-07-12
Packaged: 2021-03-05 01:46:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 675
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25226284
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lulu_bae/pseuds/Lulu_bae
Summary: Throughout the years he has lived, Kakashi never once regretted being a ninja....
Comments: 2
Kudos: 12





	Regret

**Author's Note:**

> This is a Kakashi-centric fic I made. As shown in the tags it's pretty angsty but enjoy.

Throughout the years he has lived, Kakashi never once regretted being a ninja.

  
Being a ninja meant lots of things. It meant being an active member in serving the village. It meant being a weapon, the weapon of the village. It meant mastering any type of jutsu available to your arsenal. It meant being more powerful than others, knowing that with a tiny flick of a kunai-held wrist, you could end a persons life. 

  
It meant killing thousands in cold blood.

  
Kakashi knew all the demands and requirements of being a ninja. From the day he saw his father's body hanging, suspended in the air, he knew what he had to sacrifice in order to do so. Even as the teammates he didn't acknowledge as friends until the last moment died one by one, as his sensei-his cherished father figure-died saving the village from the dreaded tailed fox, as his wooden fox mask was oh-so-often sprayed with spatters of warm blood with every passing mission, he had never thought once about leaving the profession he was so skilled at. 

  
But as he stands in a bedroom looming over a sleeping infant, he regrets his profession more than ever.

  
He watches as the baby sleeps, with no movement apart from the rhythmic rising and falling. The head, bare with no semblance of hair in sight. The face, as wrinkled and red as the rest of the body, is scrunched in a serene expression.

  
'A threat' they called it. The offspring of two parents from two very powerful bloodlines, one of the few which if combined, is capable of mass destruction. It was a risk that Konoha couldn't take. Being a covert mission that required acute skill and perception, he was personally requested by the Sandaime for this mission to eliminate the threat.  
Throughout the years he had gone through seeing death, pronounced death and continuously faced death firsthand, he had never thought of this situation.

  
As he stood over the cot of the sleeping baby, his heart warred with his duties, not for the first time. _Its just a child_ he thought. One unaware that its future was about to be cut off so suddenly. 

  
_Just a child..._

  
His hands-the ones that have killed so many precisely without even so much as a twitch- trembled uncontrollably as it steered closer and closer to the child. His heart beat faster than it ever did before as he tried to bulk up the courage to go just a little bit further.  
Once he was about an inch away from the child,they he froze. His hands could not go any further, but neither could he draw them back. It was in its own sort of limbo as itit was, still trembling as it continued to linger. stayed.

  
The child stirred, and for the first time in many years he prayed that no cries would be heard. To his surprise, it didn't. Instead its eyelids separated to reveal a striking pair of eyes.

  
He gasped as the his mismatched pair met its own. The eyes pierced sunk through his ANBU mask, through his eyes and into its soul, striking every part of it. For the first time in his closed up life, he felt utterly and completely exposed. He felt as though he was being dissected in the presence of a being he could never fathom. 

  
It closed his eyes, and a semblance of fear welled inside him. In that second, he was sure it was going to scream, wail and cry seeing he, the monster near. He was sure it would try it's best to wriggle out of the hands-his bloody tainted hands- so close to wrapping itself round its fragile neck before flailing to its death.

  
However, the infant with its eyes closed, did something that struck him to the very core.

  
It _smiled_.

  
Throughout the years he has lived, Kakashi never once regretted being a ninja.

  
But as he stood in the forest, tears shed and hands scrubbed beyond comprehension, he regrets it more than ever.


End file.
